Lesson number one: it's bloody hard. Not in the sense that friendships are hard, but maybe more so that maintaining friendships is hard - and it gets harder as you grow older. Everyone's doing different things. You're living in different places, all over the country. Some are at university, some are working. Some are in relationships, some are single. Some are partying, some are staying at home. You're changing constantly, growing into your own person and, yeah, you're bound by these memories and the times you've previously spent together and things are perfect - just how they used to be - when you see each other. But those months you spend apart - they're hard. There are friends of mine that, no matter what happens, we'll always be the same with each other - nothing changes, everything's comfortable when we see each other and, even if it's been months, it feels like the last time we saw each other was the day before. Other friendships are different; some of mine feel, not exactly awkward when we see each other, but more so that it takes a little bit to warm back up to each other. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.
Number two: some friends aren't as good as you initially think they are. They don't necessarily have your best interests in mind and, in some cases, you're not as special to them as you may think. I've had this with a couple of friendships lately and the realisation that these 'friends' of mine aren't actually friends is kind of liberating. That feeling of knowing that someone's simply just a manipulator and is pretty much only using you for certain things is horrible, of course, but - for me, at least - it's kind of been a motivator in the sense that it has made me realise how little I need those kind of people in my life, and how much I need to put myself first and not worry about what others think.
Number three: LIVING WITH YOUR FRIENDS IS NOT AS EASY AS IT SOUNDS. You start to notice flaws in the behaviour of your housemates. Don't get me wrong, I love them, but it's not easy. It's things like how often they clean, who's doing the majority of the housework, aggressive messages, lack of what I would call basic manners, privacy - you know, the expected things. It's uni living but a hundred times more intense than in halls. And I don't think it's the life for me.
Number four: don't ever let go of the friends who are always there. Lauren and Sophie (you'll know them if you're a regular reader of this blog) are my two most treasured friends in the world. They're people that, no matter what, will always be there - it could be the tiniest, most trivial problem in the world but they're there to listen and help figure out any situation.
Number five: internet friends are real!! Having grown up with this whole 'don't talk to strangers online' attitude from parents, and in society in general, it's baffling to me how untrue the statement that internet friends aren't real is. I've met some of my best friends (shoutout to you, Meg) through Twitter and I think it's incredible.
So, they were five of the friendship-related lessons I've learnt during my twenty years on this earth. They're pretty personal lessons but I hope you enjoyed this insight into my friendships - good and bad. And, don't worry if you've not experienced the same things - after all, it's all personal experience.
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