If the past two / three years have taught me anything, it's that results day doesn't get any easier. I hate the waiting around, I hate the entire process - the stress and anxiety that it causes is ridiculous. It's when it gets to that 'one month until results day' day that I start to worry. I manage to get it out of my head up until that point - the 17th July, or whatever the date turns out to be. It's kind of silly for me to get so stressed about it because, really, I've done everything I can do and had done this in May and June - there's nothing I can do about it now. It's just a waiting game and it's all down to the examiners (some of whom can be so ruthless in their marking, I am not a fan).
I think I get so panicky about it because I know how much work I put into preparing for my exams and how much these results are going to affect my future and where I end up for the next three years. I have applied for university, and I have accepted my offers and, while I'm not going to tell you where my first choice is (purely because I don't want to publish it before I know my results), I can tell you that I'll be absolutely devastated if I don't meet the requirements for that uni - that's how much I love it there. I went to open days and my interview and it just felt right - that's where I felt most 'at home'. It was perfect for me, and the thought of not ending up there really scares me.
I know I'm not the only person going through this situation - my friends are, my entire year at sixth form is, and so is the rest of the country. We're all in the same boat and I get it. It is a terrifying thought. Not everybody is or will go to university, and that's one hundred percent their choice to make, but it's just as scary for them - whether you need your grades for a specific reason or not, it's the wait that makes it so bad. You sit your exams in May and June and you don't get your results until the middle to end of August and, while you might be able to forget about it for a while, it's always in the back of your mind - you know that day is going to come, and there's nothing you can do to avoid it. In fact, it's just as bad knowing that the examiners are basically finished marking your papers in July. WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAIT SO LONG?! It just makes it a lil more traumatic. And you know what else is traumatic? The fact that your teachers know your results before you do. It's not that bad, it just puts me on edge - just like the fact that my UCAS status will be updated before I get my results and I'll potentially know if I got into my chosen uni before I know my results. I don't know. I just get this weird feeling about it and the only way to describe it is feeling on edge. I don't like it.
I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter, I shouldn't be stressing this much because I can't change anything and I haven't been able to change anything since I sat the exams in June. Whatever will be, will be and it's not down to me anymore. I put the effort in and I tried my best at the time, and that's all I could've done. I know that I wasn't happy at all with my sociology exams (I suppose it didn't help that I had a nose bleed in the middle of paper one either) but I prepared for them in the way I could do best - that's all I could do. Nobody knows what the exam boards are going to throw at you - it's completely pot luck with what you get but as long as you did your best, that's all anyone could ask of you.
I won't go on for too long because, after all, it is a fairly sensitive topic - we all have different feelings towards it. I'm very much on the negative side of the spectrum when it comes down to it - I'm stressed, nervous and not looking forward to it one bit but I do want to take this opportunity to wish everyone in this boat good luck - whether you're awaiting A level, AS level or GCSE results. I hope everything goes the way you want it to. For me, I'm just looking forward to V Festival at the weekend - results day? What's that? lol I wish!
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